Melicious Details

When Aphasia Strikes

You know how sometimes you are thinking of one word, but inexplicably say another?

We were having dinner with our friends Sue and Rick and the conversation wandered to the topic of different breeds of dogs.  The background on this is that when we were first married, Clyde and I had an Irish Terrier named Raleigh.

Sue:  Didn't people always think Raleigh was an Airedale?

Me:  Yes, which was weird to me because Irish Terriers are reddish and Airedales are brown and black.

Clyde:  I think it was because they had similar nozzles.

There was a few moments of silence while we were all thinking:  nozzle?  Did he just say nozzle? 

Me:  Maybe you mean MUZZLE.

Clyde:  Right. Muzzle.

The worst of the wurst.

I was at the hair salon last week and had this conversation with my stylist.

Kate:  After standing on my feet all day, I get cankles.
Me:  Does everyone call you Hillary?
Kate:  My feet and ankles also get really swollen when I'm on long flights.  So I went and bought some medical-grade support hose.
Me: Don't you need to be somebody's grandmother to be allowed to purchase those?
Kate:  They worked great. But they are sooooooo ugly. 
Me: I bet.
Kate:  I got black. The only other color they come in is that weird color - it kind of fleshy...you know... it's like the same color as potted meat.

I have to stop here for a minute and say that I had never heard of potted meat, but since Kate's mom is British, I figured she was familiar with all kinds of bad cuisine.

Me:  Potted meat?  You mean like Spam?
Kate:  Actually more like liverwurst.
Me:  So you can buy medical grade support hose in two colors:  Black and Liverwurst.
Kate: <squealing with laughter> Right!

I had not thought about liverwurst for YEARS. But it all came back to me:  When I was 7 or 8 years old, I was playing at my friend Cheryl's house.  At lunch time her mom made us sandwiches.  I'm all ready for PB&J, but what is handed to me?  Wonder Bread with mayonnaise and liverwurst. One of my Top 5 Most Horrific Culinary Experiences. Ever.