Melicious Details

It's easier to pronounce than it looks.

When I was about 12, I realized that I would be able to - if I wanted to! - change my last name when I got married.  I never liked the last name I was born with because it didn't seem special or memorable, two things I desperately wanted to be.  For sure having a new name was going to make that happen.

I hated that my maiden name was always stuck smack in the boring middle of any alphabetical listing.  And it never, ever begged the question "how do you pronounce that?"  I wanted an interesting combination of letters, and something that was fun to write when I was practicing my autograph.

So did I hit the jackpot or what when I married Mr. Dyrdahl? 

Really I did not have a terrible last name before I got married. Nichols might be plain and common, but it wasn't embarrassing.  It wasn't bad at all, compared to a guy I worked with whose last name rhymed with dildo. Or some of the other unfortunate surnames I've come across like Peeps, Snakeshaft, or Clutterbuck.  Good God, living with any of those would be brutal. 

I've now been Melissa Dyrdahl for over half my life.  I've spelled my last name out loud a million times and have had the pronunciation butchered in countries all over the world, although Americans are the worst. Brain paralysis sets in when they're faced with an unusual combination of letters like D-Y-R. 

And funny stuff like this happens all the time. I bought tickets over the phone and the person I spoke to told me I could pick up them up at Will Call, but I would have to have an ID and the credit card I was buying the tickets with, or under no circumstances would I be given the tickets.  So, when I get to Will Call, I have this conversation.

Me:  I'm here to pick up my tickets.
Woman At Will Call:  What's your name?
Me:  Melissa Dyrdahl
WAWC:  What?
Me:  Melissa.  Dyrdahl.  D-Y-R-D-A-H-L.
WAWC:  I don't see anything under that name.
Me:  Try looking under D-R-Y.
WAWC:  Oh. Here they are. How do you pronounce that?
Me:  Deer-doll.
WAWC:  Hmm.  (She hands me the tickets).
Me:  Don't you need to see my ID and credit card?
WAWC:  No...
Me:  You don't ?
WAWC:  Honey, there is no way you could make that up.

For Nausea or Racquet Sports

I went on a sailing vacation in the British Virgin Islands last week which is really surprising considering that I don't sail and also considering that I get motion sickness.  Since me barfing can ruin my entire day, before I left on the trip I bought something called Sea-Bands which claim to prevent nausea and vomiting.  And right now the marketer in me is imagining the product naming meeting where there was a big debate as to why they couldn't be called NauSea-Bands.  But I digress.

Sea-Bands are knitted, elasticated (that is the manufacturer's word choice, not mine, and it does not pass the spell check by the way) wrist bands you wear on each wrist.  Once you have accessorized your swimsuit or other boating attire with your Sea-Bands, you look like you are all ready for a sporting activity that requires you stop the sweat from getting on your hands.  I have never even actually sweat so much to consider getting a paper towel, but from what I hear, preventing sweat from dripping down past your wrists is crucial to winning a title. 

I can tell you from my personal experience on a boat in 25 mph winds and seven foot swells that Sea-Bands are anti-barfing magic.  When I I had them on, the idea of barfing never entered my mind, which is a good thing, because you know what happens...once you start thinking about barfing, tragedy ensues.  After an especially turbulent night of non-stop pitching and rolling (I am referring to the boat, not to any other activity you may be presuming I was indulging in) I am certain I would have hurled if not for my Sea-Bands.

If you are wondering what makes Sea-Bands work, it's the white plastic stud (as shown on my own personal arm in the photo) that applies pressure to the nei kuan acupressure point on each wrist.  (Our friends at wikipedia provide a long, complex answer to your questions about what and where is a nei kuan pressure point.  Trust me, it is more than you want to know, but I like to be a full service blogger and give you the sources for the level of detail you need to feel fulfilled.) I actually have another theory about how Sea-Bands work:  if you leave them on long enough, the plastic stud presses into your nei kuan to such an extent that alarming indentations form on your inner wrists, which causes pain - on a scale of 1 to 10 - of about a 7.  You cannot possibly be distracted by vomiting when your wrists are turning purple and your hands are going numb.