Melicious Details

The Cult of Creepy

After my last post, I did a bit more research on Scientology and found all kinds of stuff on youtube.  You can see Tom Cruise confidently telling us that Scientologists are "here to help", you can hear L. Ron's son saying his father is a liar and the main interest of the Church of Scientology is money and power, and you can watch the orientation video I wrote about.  But really, the best thing out there that shows you the complete craziness of L. Ron and his cult is this explanation of the History of Xenu (or maybe it's Xemu, they can't seem to decide). This entertaining 8 minute segment is in L. Ron's own voice, which is, like everything else in Scientology, creepy.
(Thanks Jenny for pointing me to the video).

I really underestimated the creepiness.

Last week I took my niece Chelsea and her friend Sarah to the Church of Scientology for a research project they are doing for their sophomore AP World History class. 

What I knew about Scientology before my visit to the cult headquarters church was
1.  Tom Cruise is a freak.
2.  L. Ron Hubbard wrote Dianetics and also a bunch of comic books.
3.  Scientologists believe an alien named Xenu came to earth on a spacecraft millions of years ago.  Or something like that.
4.  It reminds me of Amway.

So when we arrived at Xenu's Outpost in Mountain View, CA we were greeted by a super nicey nice man who was very helpful and offered to show us a short movie about Scientology. Being curious I said sure, we'll watch your movie.  The girls and I were led to a conference room arranged with theater-style seating and a projector, the nice man then started the movie and left us alone. After about 3 minutes, I thought, this is a JOKE right?  This cannot be the real movie they use to brainwash inform people about Scientology.  It was unbelievably fake and cheesy.  Not to mention outdated.  Sarah said "This movie looks like it was made in the early 90s!" (meaning, this movie was made before I was born, are they serious??).

I could go on and on about what they say in the movie but here is a sample of what I can remember given that I was laughing through the entire thing.

• L. Ron (as they call him) was fully professional in 29 fields.  Really?? What does that mean??
• Scientology is a bona fide religion is said many many times.  In case you were wondering why it is called the Church of Scientology, which may or may not include their cruise ship, I couldn't tell.
• Scientology will improve your personality and your IQ.  Ahh - that explains what happened to Tom.

As we were leaving, the really really nice nice man told the girls to looks around (like for example at all the shelves lined with the many books you can buy authored by L. Ron that are shrinkwrapped so you can't peak) while he put together some information for them to take home.  Sarah got out her camera to take a few photos and in a (so creepy) Jeckyl and Hyde moment, the no longer nice man screamed "NO PHOTOGRAPHS ALLOWED!!".

I should have posted this weeks ago

so here's the link to the Huffington Post article written by Julia Moulden that mentions my role as a New Radical Entrepreneur.

Overdecorated Hair

I hate to run, swim, bike or attempt to hit a stationary or moving ball with a racquet, club or mallet. I hate bowling. I hate aerobics. I hate working out with weights.  Horseback riding would be OK, because horses are awesome animals, but it's a dirty a sport and I can't stand being dirty.  But even worse than I hate being dirty is that I really hate sweating.  And on top of the dirtiness and/or sweating that occurs during sports, most of them also create bad hair.  Either you have to wear a helmet (Good God, is anything less attractive?) or you have to do something else with your hair to keep it out of your face. 

But while watching womens' gymnastics at the Olympics, I came to the conclusion that these poor athletes have the most unfortunate hair challenges ever.  For some reason,they are required to use multiple kinds of clips, barretts, scrunchies and other crap ALL AT THE SAME TIME to accessorize their performance. Gymnastics is not dirty and does not even really appear to cause sweating, but I definitely would not do it because of their Hair Rules.

Even after the 12 year old Chinese girls won the gold, how could you even notice them wearing their shiny new medals when you are so distracted by what is happening on their heads?

Fresh Peach Pie

While trying to decide which desserts to share after dinner the other night, my friends and I starting talking about pie, and what kind of pie was our favorite. Mine is peach, but it has to be made with fresh peaches, and preferably it is the the peach sour cream pie that my mom used to make me at least once during the summer, because I've never tasted a peach pie as good as that one. I then volunteered that I'd personally never made a pie in my entire life - there are just too many steps, the opportunity for failure is so high, and also I really prefer to eat desserts that are made for me, not desserts I have to make for myself. And so making a pie is in the category of Tasks That Are Way Too Daunting, and I am certain this is exactly what would happen to me if I even attempted it.

Dog Names

If you want to come up with a clever and original name for your dog (like for example, Tango) this list will help you know what not to pick. 

I think it’s important that a dog’s name is easy to say both in a normal voice and a loud yelling voice, and that it is a name that you can mindlessly morph into something else for no explainable reason.  Tango is often called Mango. And sometimes Mango Pango Fandango.  I know.  It’s ridiculous.

Speaking of dog names, I had this conversation with my Dad on Father’s Day:

Dad (pointing to Tango):  What's that one's name?
Me:  Tango.
Dad:  I can never remember that one's name.
Me (looking at my mom):  Let me know when he says that about me.

If you have any suggestions for the new list I am creating of Really Super Creative Dog Names, please send them to me!

Personalized License Plate

The license plate of the car in front of me at the car wash today said PUPICAB. Is it just me who reads it as PUBIC CAB?

Taos. The Cure for Writer's Block.

Do you like the snappy new blog design?  And the fact that I am actually writing my blog again?   I had been having my own version of a climate crisis, my creativity flopping around like a fish in a dry riverbed, floundering through a summer drought.  But then I attended Jennifer Louden’s Writers Spa in Taos last week and came back feeling energized and creatively revived.

I was with 30 women from the US and Canada. We talked, we laughed, we wrote, we found a new voice or reconnected with an old one.  Taos spun it’s magic around us for a week leaving us grateful and richer for the experience.

The workshop/spa was at the  Mabel Dodge Luhan House, which is walking distance from the Taos plaza.  Mabel was quite the colorful babe, living a raucous and unconventional life in the early 20th century, and her home is now designated a historic landmark.  Historic in this case meaning a house with small dark rooms, loud creaking floors and ceilings (you can experience both simultaneously if you’re in a first floor room like I was!), finicky plumbing and all kinds of bugs and insects.