Defining Fine

I am taking an online creative writing class which is mostly fun and the online part is the best because of the whole no one knows if you're a dog on the internet thing.

After submitting my second 500 word assignment the professor provided really eloquent feedback on "what wasn't working for him".  He used a lot of words but I will just summarize for you:  I write phrases that sound like advertising as opposed to fine writing. 

You mean fine writing does not start with a strong value proposition, followed by three benefit statements and then concludes with a compelling call to action?  Ooooooh.

Thank you so much for pointing that out, Mr. Stanford Professor and Wallace Stegner Fellow in Poetry. I hadn't realized that over 20 years of marketing experience in technology companies had sucked every last bit of fine writing out of me.

I know for sure I could write a FINE powerpoint presentation of rehashed marketing objectives.  And honestly, I think some of the pieces I've co-authored with Des (i.e., Letter from the CEO re: Workforce Reduction) were very, very finely written. 

You thought that letter was actually written by the CEO?   Um. No. 

It was actually written by Des and I.  And all of our helpers.  We had helpers in Legal who didn't like forward-looking statements. We had helpers in HR who didn't want to include details on severance packages because "we are a global company and each package will be different depending on what country the employee lives in.  And in the U.K. it is called Garden Leave."  We had helpers in Engineering who thought that NO actual engineers should be laid off, but instead given six months to hang out and find another job in the company, "so just lay off people in all the other departments."  We had a helper executive whose mother was an English professor and we had another helper executive who didn't agree with any of the other helpers.

Including all those helpers' comments and creating a letter that wasn't 12 paragraphs long (because really, who reads that crap?) - come on. That was some mighty fine writing.  If it wasn't marked Company Confidential - For Internal Use Only I would attach it here so you could see.